My Vancouver Top 10 for 2007 (part one)

(in no particular order)

Boy N The (New) Hood

2007 began for me in the rock-on neighbourhood of South Main. Or Mount Pleasant. Or whatever you want to call it, but please, I beg of you, do not call it SoMa… utter absurdity, that is.
I took up residence at 14th and Grandma. I called it that because my new home was at the corner of 14th avenue and Sophia street, and that is also my Polish grandmother's first name (Sophia, not fourteenth). I had moved there December 14, 2006 and welcomed 2007 in this great 'hood.
I was so down with this place. Within blocks of my apartment was: a very cool coffee shop with a double-sided fireplace, Vancouver's awesomest record store "Neptoon Records", one of Vancouver's most random nightspots "The Anza Club", Vancouver's coolest-named restaurant "Slickety Jim's Chat 'n Chew", and Planet Bingo where the city's hardest-core gamblers whiled away the hours, dabber in hand. Here's a moment in time at the corner of 14th and Grandma:

Stanley Park Seawall Re-opens

The night I moved into 14th and Grandma, I was startled awake at 3am by what sounded like an 18-wheeler coming through my brand new bedroom window. But it was the wind. FEROCIOUS wind. More ferocious than the Ice Bear death match now playing in The Golden Compass. This was a wind that clear cut its way through Stanley Park and left Prospect Point looking like Mother Nature had gotten bored and decided to conduct a logging experiment.

11 months later, on November 16, 2007 the grand, beautiful and very-missed seawall around Vancouver's Stanley Park re-opened to walkers, joggers, cyclists and general looky-loo's. Here's our terrific seawall, back in top form:

Extreme Makeover films new episode on Cambie street

As I grew to love all that makes South Main a little bit 'o fab, it was inevitable I would also occasionally find myself in nearby neighbourhoods, like Cambie Village. This is where Vancouver temporarily looks like a postcard from Baghdad. The city's underworld has literally been exposed thanks to one of the most massive infrastructure projects this city has ever seen - the Canada Line, a light rail transit system from Vancouver International Airport to downtown Vancouver. Check it out… the construction goes 4 or 5 stories below ground:

A Mid-Summer Night's Stench

Smack dab in the middle of summer 2007 in Vancouver, the city's unionized civic workers, including garbage collectors, went on strike. Vancouverites endured this job action for about 12 weeks. So did our tourists and visitors! All because it went down right in the middle of our high-season for tourism.
I sure hope if you came here during that time that you still enjoyed our beautiful city despite some parts looking like the anti-thesis of Good Housekeepping. I also hope when I write a Top 10 for 2008 it doesn't include living in harmony with a rat population explosion.
Thankfully, Vancouver has now regained its stunning and pristine gorgeousness (much like me after an early night and a close shave - neither of which seems to happen anymore).

Becks-couver

Vancouver said hello to The Beckhams - twice - in 2007. First, in October, soccer hero and Armani underwear model David Beckham came to town with the L.A. Galaxy for an exhibition game with the Vancouver Whitecaps. Rarely does our BC Place Stadium see most of its 60,000 seats filled. If David Beckham is a soccer bandwagon, Vancouver jumped it faster than this city shuts down when it snows.
But it didn't end there. On December 2nd, Beckham's Stepford wife, Posh, spiced up VanCity on the opening night of the Spice Girls reunion tour. Poor Posh, though. She translated Canada's lack of paparazzi culture into Canada's lack of knowing who she is - so, she arranged for photogs to get shots of her shopping on Robson street. Word! That's the proof, peeps - at times, certain celebs don't want privacy.

That's the first half of my Vancouver Top 10 for 2007. More to come...

Tonsil Town part two

About ten months ago, I went to the Marpole Curling Club in Vancouver. The idea was to try curling for the first time. "Beyond terrible" would be a charitable way to describe my performance. I had no aim and I fell over. Alot. I found curling to be sorta similar to bowling except way less fun and way more awkward and way colder and way off my list of things to ever try again.

While it was a memorable experience (thanks to the fun gaggle of Americans I was with), I haven't really thought about it much since that day last February. Until today. Today the Marpole Curling Club was credited in the brilliant and hilarious new film, Juno.

I saw Juno today down at the 'ol Tonsil Town. I gotta say, it's been a stellar week for me at Tonsil Town. The other day I blogged about it being my favourite movie theatre in Vancouver (even though its proper name is Tinseltown, I prefer to call it Tonsiltown for no other reason than to be a dork).

Not only is Tonsiltown the bestest theatre ever, it also has the desirable, consistent tendency to show the bestest movies as well - like Juno.

This movie is open-hearted hilarity from start to finish. Juno is the name of the lead character, a 16 year old girl who unexpectedly becomes pregnant. She's played by Ellen Page (she's from Halifax, Nova Scotia). Her character is impregnated by Bleeker, an orange-Tic Tac-addicted, long-distance runner played by Michael Cera (he's from Brampton, Ontario). Go Canada.

Props go to the supporting cast, too. Allison Janney plays Juno's stepmom and is perfect in the scene where she tells off an ultra-sound technician. Rainn Wilson shows up right at the start of the movie as a convenience store clerk and is also perfect while telling Juno, who madly shakes her home pregnancy test kit, that it's not an etch-a-sketch and the results won't change no matter how much she shakes it.

Some of the scenes in Juno reminded me of some of the streets in Vancouver. Scenes showing residential streets with stucco bungalows erected probably in the 50's or 60's. Their familiarity made me feel even more at home with Juno than I already was. Then, because we stuck around for closing credits, we learned that Juno was filmed right here in Vancouver. Nice! That's what got me thinking about the Marpole Curling Club again - the film makers "thanked" it in the credits.

I'm fairly certain that of all the films I've seen that were made in Vancouver, Juno is the best of those. Plus, Juno's soundtrack is overwhelmingly well-chosen for this film. It's a perfect sonic match to the tone, pace and vibe of the story and the characters. I've already downloaded it and I'm listening to it right now.

For your viewing and listening pleasure, here's a clip of Moldy Peaches performing Anyone Else But You (from the soundtrack) at the Juno premiere. A sweet tune, indeed. The song itself begins at 2:25 into the clip, but the part before the song actually starts is quite funny and worth watching.

---

Tonsil Town

Tinseltown ain't just down south in California, ya know. It's right here in Vancouver and just so happens to be the name of my favourite movie theatre in this town. Or as me and my peeps like to call it... Tonsil Town.

Tinseltown (88 West Pender Street) has the most comfortable seats, the most leg room, the best "on-a-slope" theatre design which totally prevents your view of the movie screen from being obstructed by someone else's big, fat head. And when Tinseltown first opened, it also had Vancouver's most reasonable prices to see a movie. It is a movie house of superlatives, Tinseltown is.

One thing though, the prices have gone up. I went today and paid $7.75 for a matinee (back in the day you could see a matinee there for 5 bucks!)

Tinseltown now offers "Super Tuesday" when every seat for every show is $8.75. Not horrible compared to some other theatres in town. Mind you, way back when, Tuesdays at Cineplex Odeon were actually known as Two Dollar Tuesdays.

What's the bigger crime - that prices have risen so much or that I can remember that far back?

The movie I saw is Into The Wild, directed by Sean Penn who also wrote the screenplay. I realize it's taken me awhile to get around to seeing this one - it was released this past September. Anyhoo, this film is going down as one of the absolute BEST movies I've seen in 2007 (right up there with Superbad and Knocked Up).

Into The Wild tells the true story of Christopher McCandless who, after graduating college in 1990, went completely off the grid in order to live his life completely off the land. In Alaska, to boot! Through a narrative from his sister, we hear some likely reasons why this 23 year old guy abandoned his old life for a new one. But the film itself is centered on his earnest effort to live a pure life, to be with nature, to be with himself, to find himself and, ultimately, to find love.

For me, Into The Wild brings new meaning to the phrase 'motion picture'… it's incredibly moving - like a cinematic Ex-lax.

Really though, I cannot deny that I was affected a great deal by the story of this guy's time living in the far north, his struggle to stay fed, his endurance of harsh weather conditions and his profound, beautiful connections with nature and wildlife.

Into The Wild is deeply touching and most of all reveals the power of forgiveness. I cannot recommend it highly enough, if only because it's not everyday one can be touched deeply for less than ten dollars.

If fingers were thumbs, all mine would be enthusiastically pointed straight up. Word.

When I left the theatre, a sobbing wreck of my former self, I came across several fantastic, framed photographs lining the corridors of Tinseltown. The photos are of all the big Hollywood stars from the golden age. I took pictures of a few of the pictures to show you. I was already in a sentimental mood so I couldn't help but notice how the essence of these photographs perfectly matched my introspection.

Do yourself some good - pop down to Tinseltown and see Into The Wild - it's unforgettable. As a bonus, the soundtrack by Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam is flawless and so are the supporting performances by Catherine Keener and Hal Holbrook - have a look at the trailer...

Holy Guacamole

My first trip to Mexico is etched in my memory for lots of reasons, although the divine taste of perfect guacamole resides near the top of the memorable heap. Out for dinner at an open-air restaurant in old Vallarta, I witnessed the 60 second miracle that is fresh-made guacamole.

A member of the wait staff wearing a crisp white oxford and pressed black pants appeared beside our table with a trolley carrying avocado, lemon, cilantro, tomato and onion. With mortar and pestle in hand he spent one short minute mashing these ingredients together for the best guacamole I've. ever. had. Until that day, I had no idea what guacamole was actually supposed to taste like.

Fast forward to lunch at Cobre the other day, with a mouthful of guacamole, and I was reminded of that first trip to Mexico.

Cobre (52 Powell Street) is Spanish for copper and it's yet another new restaurant in Vancouver's always-improving Gastown district. It opened last July. Once the sole territory of those who ask for (and clearly need) a lot of spare change, Gastown is now like fertile F&B soil giving life to a totally decent new restaurant every month or two.

The cuisine at Cobre is nuevo latino, a self-bestowed descriptor. Nuevo Latino features ways of eating inspired by places like Argentina and Mexico, Cuba and Brazil.

This Gastown restaurant is a really comfortable space - red brick walls surround you, exposed wooden beams are up above and appealing, colour-filled canvases have been placed around the room.

The menu includes so many Spanish words that I started to feel like Madonna singing La Isla Bonita - trying my best to get the pronunciation down pat, but nobody's really buying it. And that's just the pronunciation. Forget about what the words actually mean!

Thankfully, Cobre offers a printed glossary of food terms from the menu containing the English translation. A very handy tool indeed. The glossary is also on their website if you want to bone up on your Espagnol before you head down to Cobre.

Once I understood what my lunch choices were, I started with the tuna ceviche featuring local albacore. It was served on a small, tasty pile of cold, purple potatoes.

Next was crispy chicken taquitos, assembled like a taco log cabin with fantastic guacamole. I can't honestly say the guac was as good as that unforgettable experience in Puerto Vallarta, but it was pretty darn good.

As for the taquitos? They were okay, a little bland but well-placed beside a pool of hot sauce. Here's a pic of the taquitos and the guacamole (I don't know what's wrong with my camera phone right now, but for some reason this picture makes the taquitos look like they're floating on an ice sheet although really it's just a white plate).

Dessert was a fabulous creation with caramel and pineapple - here's a picture of it from above which really doesn't make it look nearly as scrumptious as it was.

We had a really good time at Cobre - our server approached us with ease and subtlety while our food went down very well. So when you're in Gastown, look beyond the souvenir shops for another reason to chill in Vancouver's oldest neighbourhood.

Familiar Terri-TORI

"…slapstick comics, and dewy-eyed soubrettes, nimble magicians and world-famed musicians, wise-cracking jugglers and sweaty acrobatic teams, standup comedians and dignified divas, and the fabled names of the movies." - Chuck Davis

These are the just some of the types of entertainers that have graced the stage at the Orpheum Theatre in Vancouver. And Monday night, one of the most unique names in music took to that same stage - Tori Amos.

Truth is, I'm a wee bit of a fan to say the least. I've seen Tori Amos in concert 6 times now; this was the second time I've seen her at The Orpheum.

The Orpheum Theatre is one of Vancouver's grandest and most-storied entertainment venues. Here's a great description of it from The History of Metropolitan Vancouver: "All around the theatre, on every floor, are ornamental grace notes-murals, paintings and other art work, decorated wall fabrics, tiling, fancy balustrades, gilded mirrors, ironwork, ornate chandeliers, sconces, corbels, tapestries, plush carpeting, varied and exotic architectural embellishments-a never-ending feast for the eye."

We bought special (read: expensive) tickets for the concert - they included admission to the sound check. There were about 25 of us and seating was unassigned. Sitting in row 3, I watched Tori come on stage. She only said "hello" and 'this is what it looks like when we rehearses'. I was beyond thrilled to see this very private performance.

After the two songs, she still didn't say a word. She just sat on her piano bench for a few moments adjusting something. Our "VIP" group got up in complete silence and began to exit the theatre. It was so weird and awkward that nobody said anything! I couldn't stand it anymore so, I said aloud "thank you" and she waved back. She gave this cute little wave that looks like she's using her hand to teach a child how to count to 5, 10, 15… you know the wave.

Tori Amos is the epitome of rock star. Citing Led Zeppelin and Nirvana as influences, she breathes a fiery life into her instrument of choice - a Bosendorfer piano (some models sell for nearly 2-hundred thousand dollars!) The way she straddles her piano bench could easily receive NC-17 rating if the MPAA were in the room.

Tori is quite obviously a fan of Vancouver. During the show, she said "it's awfully nice to be here, you never know, I might be here more often." With that, she launched into a charming little ditty: "If things keep going like they've been going, Canada I'm coming home." It was pretty cute, much like Tori herself. Check out this 1 minute improv for yourself (it was filmed 2 rows behind my seats):

Get On The Bus

It's entirely possible that the word TransLink could be perceived as an information source on gender reassignment. But for Vancouver, it's the name of our public transit system.

And the good news about TransLink is that it has released an innovation which should be a big help to anyone taking the bus in this town - whether you're planning a trip here or you're lucky enough to live here.

I can't tell you how many times I've been waiting for the bus and someone who isn't from here or rarely uses public transit has asked me if I know when the bus they're waiting for will actually arrive. Despite my best efforts to memorize every bus schedule for the benefit of total strangers, I'm often unable to accurately respond to the query.

However, if anyone at the bus stop wants to know how unwatchable The Young and the Restless has become, or what it's like to walk through the Hermitage in St. Petersburg, Russia - I'd be delighted to chat with you.

Back to TransLink, finally it has provided a way for transit users to easily figure out when the bus will come. I'll let a picture I took at a downtown bus stop do the talking:

Easy as pie, n'est-ce pas? All you need is your cellphone.

Also, a recent innovation by Google should make it easier to figure out transit in Vancouver. Plus, the service is apparently available in several languages. It's super easy to use (what by Google isn't?). Just put Google Transit Vancouver into your search engine.

Material World

As a 5'11" guy, spending time in Costco yesterday made me realize what life must be like everyday for that family in Little People, Big World on TLC.

The place is ginormous. A car chase in there would surely go unnoticed. You could probably toss a banana peel on the floor and it would dry up before anyone actually wiped out on it. Such a waste.

The Costco shopping carts are huge, too. 2 or 3 would be enough to carry away all the "seaweed" inventory from Lululemon in Kitsilano. (I'm thinking it'll be deeply discounted any time now.)

I can't even remember the last time I went to Costco - suffice to say it's been a long time. So, hanging out there for a couple hours with a couple friends was a little crazy for me simply because it's quite shocking to be among such excess.

Don't get me wrong, I completely understand the point of Costco - I just can't quite comprehend how someone with a shopping addiction could ever withdraw when stores like this exist.

For me, one of the best things about shopping there is all the free samples available. It is that which kicked off my addiction to Stacy's pita chips with hummus. It is also that which caused me learn just how incredibly cheap generic Benadryl is in the Costco pharmacy - I needed it immediately after trying a free sample which contained almond paste... to which I'm highly allergic. Live and learn.

Allow me to share with you some items of excess available there:

As Danny wondered aloud when we walked past those cordless phones, "do you really need 4 handsets?" Good question, I thought. Thimble-sized condos in Vancouver have no space for that. Of course, if you choose to downsize your total number of handsets, you'll also need to downsize your family somehow. Perhaps the Family Pro-Fryer from T-fal can help:

I suppose that fryer could also be used in food preparation.

Speaking of which, that's definitely one great thing about Costco - the food. You can get pretty much anything your starving little heart desires... in great, vast quantities. But make sure what you're buying is big enough for your appetite. We decided against the 1.4 Litre bottle of caesar salad dressing because that's clearly not big enough for the salad we had in mind for ourselves:

Neither was the 5 Litre bottle of olive oil...

If all this has you getting peckish, that's exactly where the free samples come in. We tried Belgian chocolate cookies which needed to be washed down with delicious, organic pomegranate and blueberry juice...

After you've stocked up on gigantic portions and filled up on free samples, the next thing you have to look forward to is waiting in line for an elevator down to the parking lot with all the other excess-junkies...

Saving the best for last, I'd like you to have a look at my final photo today - my shopping trip to Costco revealed to me that downtown Vancouver is home to the Great Wall of Spam:

I plan to email that picture to as many people I don't actually know as possible.

Oh, and if you want a really good laugh... go visit the Spam homepage.

My Life is a Cabaret

Aside from going to Yuk Yuk's about once a decade, I've rarely been lucky enough to see any really good, professional, live comedy - at least not any big name comedians. In a perfectly funny world, I'd get to see Chris Rock and Lisa Lampanelli on a double-bill down at the neighbourhood pub. Since that's about as likely as Celine Dion cutting her son's creepy hair, I had to settle for seeing one of my other favourite comedians, Kathy Griffin, on a solo-bill last Friday night at River Rock Casino.

But really, I wasn't settling at all. No siree. I had very firm suspicions that I would be "this close" to wetting my pants from laughter - turns out I was right. (Thanks, Depends.)

Kathy Griffin's show at River Rock was a little bit of brazilliant. First of all, she's one of the only honest entertainers out there today. In a star-packed universe of no-talent-famous-for-nothing's, Griffin is one of the rawest, funniest performers around today. Perhaps that explains why she won an Emmy award recently for her reality series, My Life on the D-List.

Griffin's hilarious schtick offers a behind-the-scenes look at the quirks and follies of other celebrities. Her act is basically the telling of her own encounters with other famous people. And she holds nothing back. Zip, zero, zilch. Nobody in Kathy Griffin's world is safe from her razor sharp observations and wit. If starlets and celebutantes were on an open plain in Africa, Kathy Griffin would be the cheetah/hyena/vulture rolled into one starving and lightning-quick predator.

She knows she's going straight to hell - she says so. In fact, Kathy Griffin says that her handbasket is decorated and ready to go... and she's looking forward to seeing some familiar faces upon arrival.

The show opened with her inflammatory take on the recent, copious media coverage of Marie Osmond who fainted on Dancing with the Stars. Kathy Griffin doesn't buy it for a second - she thinks the whole thing was faked for votes. Not exactly the behaviour you'd expect from a latter-day saint.

Griffin also told a side-splitter about Paris Hilton with whom she appeared on an award show. Hilton was being awarded for her well-known phrase "that's hot". Griffin hilariously impersonated Paris Hilton who allegedly had no clue how to exit the stage after receiving her award. With her palms facing up, she catwalked in circles unable to figure out how to get off the stage. Rolling in the aisles ensued.

She also told a story about Dr. Phil who apparently was sort of hitting on Jane Fonda during the taping of Larry King Live. Kathy Griffin says Dr. Phil is a real right-wing conservative. Well, if you know "Hanoi Jane" then you know she wouldn't have been too thrilled that someone of his alleged political stripes was actually touching her. So Jane Fonda told Dr. Phil that she had to go and return a phone call to Hugo Chavez.

And that's not all. Martha Stewart is said to employ three assistants who are forced to wear uniforms - khaki's, a salmon-colored shirt and a kerchief.

I'm left to assume at least one of those employees surely daydreams of tying said kerchief around the hoof of one of Martha's prize Friesians and the other end around Martha's neck.

Near the end of the show, Kathy Griffin told us in the audience that the previous night she had finally met one of her icons here in Vancouver - she was talking about Liza Minnelli. Right then, a spotlight pointed into the audience revealing who else? Liza herself! Right there, about half a dozen rows in front of ours, watching the show along with the rest of us. Liza stood up and waved at everyone. Surprisingly, she wasn't in the company of a man wearing more makeup than she.

After the show, Liza walked right past our seats. She still has that short, black, sort-of spiky hair and way too much eyeliner and mascara. She appears quite aged in person. Unfortunately, she stumbled on the top stair. I wondered if that was due to her recent hip replacement surgery (which she had) or to vodka (which she is known to have had… alot).

I got a picture of the back of her , but due to the slow shutter speed of my camera phone and her being in motion, it's a tad blurry:

I also got a picture inside the theatre as Kathy Griffin (pictured on stage) was announcing to everyone that Liza was there. If you look down from where Kathy is standing, you can see Liza in her seat under the spotlight...

Let's Face It

So far, I've managed to resist the hype about Facebook. I just really don't see the point of it. I had my fill of counting friends when I was in high school. Plus, I also don't get thrilled about the idea of getting caught up in the trendy side of the big 'ol Interweb. Last year it was My Space, this year it's Facebook and next year, who knows? My Space Book, perhaps?

But, I'll admit there are 3 things about Facebook that I can appreciate:

1. The guy who created it has achieved remarkable business success since it is now valued at about $15 billion. You could buy a lot of Facebook friends with that kind of cash.

2. It seems like a good way to see photos (although I prefer Google's Picasa site)

3. It allows groups of people to come together out here in Real World, instead of just online. Remember that massive Facebook-inspired water gun fight last summer in Stanley Park? (It got 6 o'clock news coverage - that's how I knew about it)

With that final point of likeability about Facebook in mind, I wanted to give you a link to a new group on Facebook which will connect you to one of coolest things in Vancouver coming up in the new year… Dine Out Vancouver!

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=18974992448

Dine Out Vancouver is the best reason to go out for dinner in this town. And let there be no confusion, this town is hands-down one of the best towns for dining out and experiencing absolutely outstanding culinary environments.

Put a reminder in your calendar for right after the new year to visit this site because that's when you'll be able to view the list of Dine Out Vancouver participating restaurants. Last year there was about 150 of 'em so be sure to check it out and make reservations EARLY to avoid disappointment.

As always, you'll be able to try out prix-fixe menus for $15, $25 and $35. In the meantime, check out that Facebook group to whet your appetite.

Bean Town

Because I have no life, I went on the Starbucks website and discovered that Vancouver is home to 84 Starbucks locations. That's about one for every 7100 Vancouverites. When you put it that way, it doesn't seem quite as disturbing as it does when you actually stand at the corner of Robson & Thurlow and consider the replicative nature of this giant in the world of coffee. It's like a caffeine superbug.

But it's not just Starbucks. It's also zillions of other coffee purveyors that have set up shop here. Their ubiquity in Vancouver likens this city's relationship with coffee to Michael Jackson's face and the colour white - home sweet home.

In an effort to swing a dead cat without hitting Starbucks, I've discovered Coal Harbour Coffee Co. This great little spot in Canada Place overlooks what else, Coal Harbour. So the next time you feel the need to see an Imax film or to feel utterly dwarfed by a cruise ship, drop in for a coffee and maybe a chat with Gordo, one of Vancouver's friendliest baristas.

At Coal Harbour Coffee Co., there's none of that "5-or-6-bucks-for-a-coffee" pricing. The prices are so low and reasonable that you'd swear you were in a Starbucks back in 1990.

You can get your snack on, too. Sandwiches and stuff like that. Most of the food is prepared in the oft-touted kitchen of the adjacent Vancouver Convention & Exhibition Centre. The danishes under the glass showcase, however, are imported from France. Delicieuse!

If you're like me, you suspect that a creamsicle is what heaven actually tastes like. Try it for yourself with their chilled beverage menu that offers the creamsicle.

Then there's the view. Luckily, Coal Harbour Coffee Co. is situated in Canada Place so that the newly-expanded convention centre does not obstruct the view of beautiful Coal Harbour, the North Shore mountains and Stanley Park. Nothing is more relaxing than stopping in the middle of the day to just breathe, relax and take it all in.

If Juan Valdez really existed, he and his mule wouldn't have to trot too far in Vancouver for a cuppa joe. So if you see a poncho-wearing Colombian near Coal Harbour, take it as a good sign.

You Are What You Read

I recently finished reading the book Skinny Bitch. Maybe you've seen it among the New Releases at the bookstore? It's an often hilarious comment on eating habits in western culture. Unvarnished truths, sarcasm and graphic imagery are used by the two authors who would like the reader to understand and accept their theory on why our society faces a problem with obesity and what we can change in our diet to solve that problem.

The book isn't about "going on a diet", it's about "changing" your diet - which really means changing your lifestyle. Skinny Bitch contains one particular sentence which resonated with me: "Actually think about what you're eating." Say it to yourself, out loud - maybe it'll resonate with you, too.

Anyway, I'm not sure I can commit to all the changes recommended in Skinny Bitch, but it definitely got me thinking about the questions raised, like:

Why are humans the only species on earth to drink the milk of another species?
Sure, our babies are breast fed to provide essential nourishment during a critical stage of development early in life, but the babies are weaned once that stage is complete. So, why do humans continue to drink milk which is biologically intended to fatten us up? Furthermore, why do we drink the milk from another species which can weigh up to 2,000 pounds on average?

Also, when it comes to sugar and each gram of it in that can of pop in your hand, divide the number of grams by 4 and you'll get the number of teaspoons of sugar added to it. For example, the can of Pepsi I drank last weekend contained 41 grams of sugar - that's 10 teaspoons of sugar. 10 teaspoons! Do I put TEN teaspoons of sugar into my coffee each morning? Never. Does my body need it in anything else I drink? Not likely.

So these are the kinds of ideas explored in Skinny Bitch. The authors state the title of book is simply intended to get attention and sell books, and it's not actually their intention to encourage people to be "skinny". Rather, to educate on diet as a way of achieving the healthiest weight for any body type.

The reason I wanted to let you know about this is because I just read that Book Warehouse, a Vancouver chain of discount bookstores, has become a bit more cool than it was already. That's because you can now walk into any of their 7 locations in Vancouver and buy your book at U.S. prices or less!

Example? The cover price for Skinny Bitch in Canada is $17, but in the US it's $13.95. Sweet! Hopefully other retailers follow suit.

I'll send a Thank You card to Book Warehouse as soon as greeting cards no longer sell for two different prices either.

Skid Crock

I arose this morning with a difficult question in mind: What is scarier than Halloween night on Granville street in Vancouver? All I had to do to get the answer was flip through this week's Georgia Straight and learn that tomorrow night's Kid Rock show at the Commodore is Sold-Out. Not much could be more frightening than that.

That means about 1,000 Vancouverites spent $58 per ticket (plus, "convenience" charges) for this show. Heaven forbid a toll is placed on a bridge somewhere in this town, but sixty bucks for Kid Rock? Sure! "Do you take VISA?"

Like a Record, Baby

The best thing about Main Street is everything. And by everything, I mean all of it. From the old, gorgeous Goh Ballet building to Slickety Jim's Chat 'n Chew, from The Main for live music to the windows at Hillcrest Plumbing displaying creatively designed tubs and toilets. But at the top of the Main street heap, I've placed Neptoon Records.

This store has more vinyl than the bench seats in the Oldsmobile station wagon where I spent a good portion of my formative years.

(That's not actually it, but I just had to post this photo out of pure disbelief that someone made a car like that - yes, it's an AMC Pacer Limo!)

Back to Neptoon Records, when you're looking for one of Vancouver's widest selection of vinyl records, it's right there with tons of new (yes, NEW) records and tons of old ones as well. There's also CD's, posters, postcards, sheet music, gig posters and some DVD's. As I flipped through the bins, here's a random assortment of some of the records I found:

Remember Dead or Alive? One of their biggest hits, You Spin Me Round (Like a Record), was from this album - that song dominated dance floors and aerobics classes one summer long ago. And who could forget the video showing singer, Pete Burns, wearing an eye patch and kimono? Definite inspiration for my next Halloween costume.

Ok, here's another one - a record from Michael Damian. He played fictional rock star Danny Romalotti on The Young and The Restless. This record must have been life imitating art, but he was a much bigger star in the melodramatic world of Y&R than he was out here in Real Land. Although, with that head of hair I simply cannot fathom why his singing voice didn't
find an audience.

When I found the record in the next photo, it kind of stole my heart and broke it - all at the same time. It's called "Whistle While You Work", but this ain't no Disney tune. Check out what is printed above the title, in smaller letters…

…it reads "Music With a Lilt to Lighten Her House Work".
For shame! They made this record way-back-when to brainwash women into believing that not wearing shoes and being with child should be all that is needed to feel fulfilled. "That's right, ladies - just put on this record and get to the dusting and vacuuming before any desire for education or success gets in the way of your pre-determined destiny to be the best homemaker on the block."

There was one other thing which made me think I was hallucinating.
In a corner, piled high on a crate, I actually saw one of popular music's most awesome and short-lived formats… the 8-track tape!

For music, it was to cassettes what the beta was to VHS in the dog-eat-dog world of VCR's - it just didn't fly. Not for very long, at least.

While we're on the topic of abandoned music formats, does anyone besides me remember the cassingle?

Click THIS! for more

UMOJA offers Vancouver mojo

Except for Grease, I don't much like musicals. That said, Umoja is one of the only musicals I've ever seen that I do like. Actually though, I didn't just simply "like" Umoja, I kinda fell a little bit in love with it...

Umoja has returned to the lucky Van City
Was told it showed good 'ol dance and real fine ditties,
An offer of a seat came through with some luck
How stoked was I that Umoja totally didn't suck

Not sure why I'm throwing down the sick rhymes, maybe Umoja inspired me… it's a live show with a cast of 35 male and female, young South Africans. They sing and dance through a retrospective/contemporary performance of the history, and the now, of South African music.

I'm tellin' ya, from the moment the drums are first pounded right through to the end, it's got so much energy that I felt kind of lazy for just sitting there and watching while all these unbelievably talented performers stepped, twisted, twirled and turned through some exciting, fast-paced choreography.

How's the singing, you ask? Think of your favourite singer and multiply that by 35. We heard harmonies that one is rarely lucky enough to experience in a live show. Not even the great Wilson Philips could hold a candle to Umoja.

Umoja is an exuberant declaration of the unforgettable role music has played in the evolution of South Africa, in every aspect of its development - social, cultural, political, economic, all areas of life are informed by the beauty of their songs and dances.
I'm really not trying to sound like I lifted these words from some prefab promotional material, but Umoja really was that good.

The show opens with sounds of South Africa's early tribal music (pounding drums and topless performers of both genders) and moves on to gumboot stomp and gospel. Can I just say that the gospel sent shivers up and down the 'ol spine? It's really, really good. You also hear tunes from the apartheid era and current sounds from the urban centres.

The costumes are at least as colorful as the language used by parents who heard today that Britney Spears will soon appear on Sesame Street to sing a duet with Oscar the Grouch. They'll be singing "Toxic". One can't help but wonder which of the two performers will offer young viewers a higher level of toxicity.

Back to Umoja, do you still need convincing to go and check it out? Ok then, the sheer life force thrown into the dance performances is enough to raise the dead just in time for Hallowe'en.

Still not convinced? You'd have to be facing greater challenges than Helen Keller not to get anything out of Umoja.

Enough with the metaphoric scene-setting? Alright. Just trying to help you understand how truly good this show is... good for mind, body and soul.

I defy you to watch Umoja without a smile and a desire for much, much more.

Tickets Tonight has half-price tickets (yee-haw!) for Umoja. It's at the Vogue Theatre on Granville street until November 22. Choose from evening shows on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, or a matinee anytime. To get the half-price deal, you have to buy your tickets in person on the day of the performance you will attend.

Tickets Tonight is open 7 days a week from 10am - 6pm at 200 Burrard Street (that's at Burrard and West Cordova street, plaza level). You can visit the Tickets Tonight website to find out more.

Click on THIS! for more...

Neutron Bomb Blows Up Near Vancouver

I've had QUITE the suburban weekend. I haven't seen so many schoolyards and shopping malls since my age ended with the word 'teen'. It got me thinking about how often I used to skip class to check out the latest styles at le chateau (I know what you're thinking) or to get my hands on the latest 12-inch single by some UK band that relied heavily upon keyboards, crimping irons and songs running at 130 beats per minute (I still know what you're thinking).

My suburban sojourn began in Steveston, a half-hour south of Vancouver, at the Buck & Ear. If good friends hadn't recommended it for brunch, I never would have even known it existed. The fact that Steveston still follows its tradition as a fishing village must explain why a gentleman seated near us wore rubber boots and shorts in public. Not a look that's gonna lock in your spot on Project Runway, yet still practical for the modern fisherman.

Later in the day, it was time to hit Coquitlam, about 45 minutes east of Vancouver. Other than H&M finally opening a store near Vancouver, my other reason for going there was a concert at the Red Robinson Theatre in the Boulevard Casino. A performance by one of Oz's most-famous exports…Olivia Newton-John! That's right, the English/Aussie-Pop/Country singer who, in Grease, looked better in leather than whichever cow donated her the outfit.

Growing up, we would watch Grease and refer to Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta as Olivia Neutron-Bomb and John Revolting. Weren't we clever? To me, though, she was the bomb. I've always had a bit of a thing for Olivia and last night's show made me fall a little bit in love with her all over again. She's been on a 3-week Canadian tour and Vancouver was the final stop.

For starters, can I just say that some of the staff at the Red Robinson Theatre are very friendly, yet very ill-informed. Example #1: Upon asking two bartenders if cocktails can be enjoyed at one's seat in the theatre, the answer from two bartenders was "we don't know". Example #2: Upon asking the usher for directions to my seat, the answer was "I think you're over there so... try the centre aisle?". Turns out that yes, cocktails are allowed at your seat and that no, the centre aisle was not the correct route to find our seats.

Red Robinson himself appeared on stage. I thought he was going to pitch Budget Car Sales to us, but he was there to put an actual face on the theatre and introduce the show.

In Newton-John's words, she was there to take us on a musical journey. That meant traveling back to the 70's when she got her start with country music and then to the 80's with hits like the unforgettable Let's Get Physical. She performed a jazzy rendition of that song, which she described afterwards as "an age-appropriate version" for a woman of 59 years.

Speaking of her age, Olivia Newton-John looks really good - still blonde, still pretty and still really fit. Wearing a spaghetti-strap thingy, it was clear how thin she is. I'm thinking there must be potential for her to endorse a weight-loss product. Perhaps something called Olivia Newtra-Slim?

We also traveled to Xanadu and, of course, to Grease. "Summer Nights" was presented karaoke-style with the words to the song appearing on a large screen behind the stage. She asked the women to sing Sandy's part and the men to sing Danny's part. That got the crowd right into the show. Salt 'n pepper-haired heads were bobbing and age-spotted hands were clapping.

She also sang a song she wrote when going through breast cancer 15 years ago called Not Gonna Give In To It (you go, girl!) and, finally, a great-sounding new song from her new Christmas album coming out in a few weeks. Overall, it was good times & thumbs up.

On our way out of the theatre...

...we looked at some of the memorabilia on display, like this Elvis Presley picture-disc 45rpm record…

… we also saw this rather frightening mannequin in the likeness of Marilyn Monroe. Check out the mug someone painted on it. Hallowe'en might be 10 days away, but this got me scared, like, right now.

Click THIS! for more...

Bump in the Vancouver Night

Why is at some point in our childhoods we become totally convinced that the space between our bed frame and the floor is populated by monsters?

Sharp-fanged, growling, blood-thirsty monsters. They were definitely under my bed, that's for sure. And all they wanted was my skinny, white ankles in their death grip to yank me under my own bed. And that would be last of me this earth would ever see.

When this happened, as I was convinced it would, I had hoped my family would retrieve me from the inky bowels of hell located just below the pillow where I was encouraged to have sweet dreams every night. In the spirit of how little Carol Anne was rescued in Poltergeist, I wondered... could a really short woman with a really high voice and a really wide rear end really be tough enough to go up against the beasts under my bed?

I drove myself crazy with the imaginings of such a terrifying event. Sure enough, sanity fled and so did I. I fled from my bedroom in an instant by catapulting myself from a horizontal position in bed to a different stance near the bedroom door. Hopefully, far enough away from the grabbing hands of monsters. A quick turn of the door knob and I was out of that room until the light of dawn.

That's pretty much the first scary story I recall knowing. Admittedly, it's one I told myself. Another spooky story I've heard is about a haunted house in Vancouver,
in the southeast corner of the intersection at Cambie street and King Edward Avenue. I can't help wondering if construction there on the Canada Line has scared away any ghosts by now. Perhaps they left soon after those who used to patronize Cambie street stores.

But there's another intriguing story out there, not too far from here. As Hallowe'en casts a long shadow over October, I'm thinking about a new book that just hit stores. It's a cautionary tale of hidden gold and an ancient curse at Pitt Lake, just northeast of Vancouver. It's the story of Slumach's Gold...

Slumach was hanged in 1890 after being convicted of shooting a man to death.
Just before the noose was placed around his neck, according to lore, Slumach placed a curse for all time on anyone who chooses to pursue his gold…
gold the size of a man's fist.

Gold? An ancient curse? All of this near Vancouver? You bet, according to the story of Slumach's Gold. Slumach's Gold was originally published in 1972 and has now been re-issued with new research, fresh insights and fascinating updates. You can check out more on this book at the website of Heritage House Publishing.