Monday, October 22, 2007

Neutron Bomb Blows Up Near Vancouver

I've had QUITE the suburban weekend. I haven't seen so many schoolyards and shopping malls since my age ended with the word 'teen'. It got me thinking about how often I used to skip class to check out the latest styles at le chateau (I know what you're thinking) or to get my hands on the latest 12-inch single by some UK band that relied heavily upon keyboards, crimping irons and songs running at 130 beats per minute (I still know what you're thinking).

My suburban sojourn began in Steveston, a half-hour south of Vancouver, at the Buck & Ear. If good friends hadn't recommended it for brunch, I never would have even known it existed. The fact that Steveston still follows its tradition as a fishing village must explain why a gentleman seated near us wore rubber boots and shorts in public. Not a look that's gonna lock in your spot on Project Runway, yet still practical for the modern fisherman.

Later in the day, it was time to hit Coquitlam, about 45 minutes east of Vancouver. Other than H&M finally opening a store near Vancouver, my other reason for going there was a concert at the Red Robinson Theatre in the Boulevard Casino. A performance by one of Oz's most-famous exports…Olivia Newton-John! That's right, the English/Aussie-Pop/Country singer who, in Grease, looked better in leather than whichever cow donated her the outfit.

Growing up, we would watch Grease and refer to Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta as Olivia Neutron-Bomb and John Revolting. Weren't we clever? To me, though, she was the bomb. I've always had a bit of a thing for Olivia and last night's show made me fall a little bit in love with her all over again. She's been on a 3-week Canadian tour and Vancouver was the final stop.

For starters, can I just say that some of the staff at the Red Robinson Theatre are very friendly, yet very ill-informed. Example #1: Upon asking two bartenders if cocktails can be enjoyed at one's seat in the theatre, the answer from two bartenders was "we don't know". Example #2: Upon asking the usher for directions to my seat, the answer was "I think you're over there so... try the centre aisle?". Turns out that yes, cocktails are allowed at your seat and that no, the centre aisle was not the correct route to find our seats.

Red Robinson himself appeared on stage. I thought he was going to pitch Budget Car Sales to us, but he was there to put an actual face on the theatre and introduce the show.

In Newton-John's words, she was there to take us on a musical journey. That meant traveling back to the 70's when she got her start with country music and then to the 80's with hits like the unforgettable Let's Get Physical. She performed a jazzy rendition of that song, which she described afterwards as "an age-appropriate version" for a woman of 59 years.

Speaking of her age, Olivia Newton-John looks really good - still blonde, still pretty and still really fit. Wearing a spaghetti-strap thingy, it was clear how thin she is. I'm thinking there must be potential for her to endorse a weight-loss product. Perhaps something called Olivia Newtra-Slim?

We also traveled to Xanadu and, of course, to Grease. "Summer Nights" was presented karaoke-style with the words to the song appearing on a large screen behind the stage. She asked the women to sing Sandy's part and the men to sing Danny's part. That got the crowd right into the show. Salt 'n pepper-haired heads were bobbing and age-spotted hands were clapping.



She also sang a song she wrote when going through breast cancer 15 years ago called Not Gonna Give In To It (you go, girl!) and, finally, a great-sounding new song from her new Christmas album coming out in a few weeks. Overall, it was good times & thumbs up.

On our way out of the theatre...

...we looked at some of the memorabilia on display, like this Elvis Presley picture-disc 45rpm record…

… we also saw this rather frightening mannequin in the likeness of Marilyn Monroe. Check out the mug someone painted on it. Hallowe'en might be 10 days away, but this got me scared, like, right now.


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