Bump in the Vancouver Night

Why is at some point in our childhoods we become totally convinced that the space between our bed frame and the floor is populated by monsters?

Sharp-fanged, growling, blood-thirsty monsters. They were definitely under my bed, that's for sure. And all they wanted was my skinny, white ankles in their death grip to yank me under my own bed. And that would be last of me this earth would ever see.

When this happened, as I was convinced it would, I had hoped my family would retrieve me from the inky bowels of hell located just below the pillow where I was encouraged to have sweet dreams every night. In the spirit of how little Carol Anne was rescued in Poltergeist, I wondered... could a really short woman with a really high voice and a really wide rear end really be tough enough to go up against the beasts under my bed?

I drove myself crazy with the imaginings of such a terrifying event. Sure enough, sanity fled and so did I. I fled from my bedroom in an instant by catapulting myself from a horizontal position in bed to a different stance near the bedroom door. Hopefully, far enough away from the grabbing hands of monsters. A quick turn of the door knob and I was out of that room until the light of dawn.

That's pretty much the first scary story I recall knowing. Admittedly, it's one I told myself. Another spooky story I've heard is about a haunted house in Vancouver,
in the southeast corner of the intersection at Cambie street and King Edward Avenue. I can't help wondering if construction there on the Canada Line has scared away any ghosts by now. Perhaps they left soon after those who used to patronize Cambie street stores.

But there's another intriguing story out there, not too far from here. As Hallowe'en casts a long shadow over October, I'm thinking about a new book that just hit stores. It's a cautionary tale of hidden gold and an ancient curse at Pitt Lake, just northeast of Vancouver. It's the story of Slumach's Gold...

Slumach was hanged in 1890 after being convicted of shooting a man to death.
Just before the noose was placed around his neck, according to lore, Slumach placed a curse for all time on anyone who chooses to pursue his gold…
gold the size of a man's fist.

Gold? An ancient curse? All of this near Vancouver? You bet, according to the story of Slumach's Gold. Slumach's Gold was originally published in 1972 and has now been re-issued with new research, fresh insights and fascinating updates. You can check out more on this book at the website of Heritage House Publishing.

GOURD TO GO

I've been getting out of town alot this month. September began in the Gulf Islands, mid-month was reached at Harrison Lake in the Fraser Valley and now, as summer officially ends and the month draws to a close, I've just spent the weekend in the Okanagan.

A family wedding brought me to Kelowna, four hours northeast of Vancouver. To get there, it's a tremendously scenic drive no matter which highway you take. We chose the Coquihalla. It carries a $10 toll for double-axle vehicles and fortunately payment can be made by debit or credit if you spent all your cash on Twizzlers and Coffee like we did.

Passing by the town of Hope, a large, roadside sign reminded me of that town's claim to fame: Chainsaw Capital. If a town called Hope can inspire a superlative environment where chainsaw culture can flourish, I shudder to think what a town called Despair might do.

Leaving Hope behind, we ascended the Coquihalla highway to its summit at 1244 metres. Every ear in the car was plugged.

Later, we passed through Merritt, home of the annual Merritt Mountain Music Festival. Think Woodstock with a twang. We stopped at the Visitor Information Centre overlooking the town. Nancy, our Visitor Information Counsellor, helped us find a decent local restaurant called Home (which has another location near Vancouver in Maple Ridge). The kitchen at Home doesn't rely heavily on tomatoes and that was fine with Nancy who is afflicted with irritable bowel syndrome. She casually revealed her condition to us as we chatted about where to eat. There really is something special about small towns. I've been trying unsuccessfully for years now to get any old Vancouverite to talk to me about their intestinal issues.

If you've been to Europe, then you know it's nothing but castles and churches everywhere you look. Well, in the Okanagan, wherever you look it's nothing but vineyards and orchards. So the next time you're at a Vancouver liquor store (the one at Broadway and Maple is open 'til 11pm!) or in the produce section of your grocery store, think about buying BC products. There's something about actually seeing where this stuff comes from that makes me want to support BC farmers and winemakers. Plus, the shorter the distance the grape travels from the vine to my liver, the less carbon emissions we will need to neutralize.

Speaking of greenhouse gases, do you know how truckers stay daisy fresh while on the road? This has long been one of life's great mysteries and a pit stop at the Husky service station in Osoyoos provided me with the answer.

One free shower with every fuel purchase of 200 litres or more. Or seven bucks. The things these people go through for us to have 5-10 servings a day.

All this talk of BC farmers leads me to show you pictures of Keremeos. It's a really tiny town in the southwest corner of the Okanagan, about 3 hours east of Vancouver in the pastoral Similkameen Valley.

We passed Keremeos on our way back to Vancouver and pulled over at one of the many orchard stands dotting the highway shoulder throughout this entire region. You can take your pick from a wide variety of fresh fruits, starring in alphabetical order: apples, apricots, cherries, nectarines, peaches, pears and plums. There are others, but I haven't yet learned the entire alphabet.

If fruits ain't your thang, how 'bout a gourd? After all, Hallowe'en is only a month away and you'll need something to carve, n'est-ce pas? Try Keremeos for your supplies. Here's a look at what you'll find:

Clearly someone has gone out of their gourd in hope of landing a guest spot on Martha.

Keremeos is worth the trip if you can make it. But... for a Vancouver supplier with a good selection at prices cheaper than buying an ad during a Canucks pre-season game, check out Young Bros. Produce in Kitsilano, a couple blocks down from the Hollywood Theatre.

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